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Do You Remember?

The Jersey Boys, the musical staged for several years now, ostensibly recounts the trials, tribulations and successes of Frankie Valli and his singing group, the Four Seasons. Between the numbers ("My Eyes Adored You" and "Walk Like A Man" were most meaningful) and behind the sacrifices happening to sustain a road show career, snippets of Valli's life echo in each and every one of us. Despite the stage charisma, the wife and marriage left behind paid the price for the magic when falsettos and showmanship captured the dreams and hearts of his fans.

We have a special place in our hearts for our very first love, even if we do not speak much of it anymore. We can still feel the vibes of what attracted us to the apple of our eye, even with the passing of time and shared subsequent experiences. Underlying a lasting love is always a reassuring friendship - that is what makes the heart flutter even more. Underlying a friendship is a reliable and consistent bonding. Putting someone in a really special place in our hearts need not be analysed too far, we just enjoy and treasure it.

More mature relationships recognise that no human is perfect, and despite such shortcomings, the flutter from the romanticising can transform into a practical engagement based on acceptance, tolerance and uniqueness. Brad Pitt put it in a nutshell when he reflected on why he left his first marriage, as he "was merely lying on the sofa" - ripe to fall readily into the charms of another woman, Angelina Jolie, who provided more oomph, activity and meaning into a relationship. To keep a good relationship is also to work on it, and build on the positive motivations of the very first memorable day.

Friendships between men are so different to friendships between women. Outside a relationship, can there be friendships between a man and woman? Media and society, religion and culture, research and practicality - all may favour segmentation, categorisation and boundaries, but the human race has precisely succeeded because it has thrived on variety, peculiarity and freedom.There can be varying degrees of closeness when we engage with another human being, but one that nurtures our inner self is the most important. Personal chemistry, when recognised and developed further, then provides the meaning behind activities, encounters and conversations to lead to greater mutual understanding. Whether this kind of emerging and budding interaction leads to a successful marriage, rather than just a friendship, requires timely actions and commitments.

Do you recall your magical moments with someone special? Is there the proverbial song that belonged to just the two of you together? It may not be a tune, but a moment in time. Do you still have a place in your heart with that someone, whether both of you are still able to be together or not.

Perhaps Phil Collins surmised it all when he belted out these lyrics, from the track duly called "Do You Remember"?

"There are things we won't recall
Feelings we'll never find
It's taken so long to see it
Cos we never seemed to have the time."


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