Do You Remember?

The Jersey Boys, the musical staged for several years now, ostensibly recounts the trials, tribulations and successes of Frankie Valli and his singing group, the Four Seasons. Between the numbers ("My Eyes Adored You" and "Walk Like A Man" were most meaningful) and behind the sacrifices happening to sustain a road show career, snippets of Valli's life echo in each and every one of us. Despite the stage charisma, the wife and marriage left behind paid the price for the magic when falsettos and showmanship captured the dreams and hearts of his fans.

We have a special place in our hearts for our very first love, even if we do not speak much of it anymore. We can still feel the vibes of what attracted us to the apple of our eye, even with the passing of time and shared subsequent experiences. Underlying a lasting love is always a reassuring friendship - that is what makes the heart flutter even more. Underlying a friendship is a reliable and consistent bonding. Putting someone in a really special place in our hearts need not be analysed too far, we just enjoy and treasure it.

More mature relationships recognise that no human is perfect, and despite such shortcomings, the flutter from the romanticising can transform into a practical engagement based on acceptance, tolerance and uniqueness. Brad Pitt put it in a nutshell when he reflected on why he left his first marriage, as he "was merely lying on the sofa" - ripe to fall readily into the charms of another woman, Angelina Jolie, who provided more oomph, activity and meaning into a relationship. To keep a good relationship is also to work on it, and build on the positive motivations of the very first memorable day.

Friendships between men are so different to friendships between women. Outside a relationship, can there be friendships between a man and woman? Media and society, religion and culture, research and practicality - all may favour segmentation, categorisation and boundaries, but the human race has precisely succeeded because it has thrived on variety, peculiarity and freedom.There can be varying degrees of closeness when we engage with another human being, but one that nurtures our inner self is the most important. Personal chemistry, when recognised and developed further, then provides the meaning behind activities, encounters and conversations to lead to greater mutual understanding. Whether this kind of emerging and budding interaction leads to a successful marriage, rather than just a friendship, requires timely actions and commitments.

Do you recall your magical moments with someone special? Is there the proverbial song that belonged to just the two of you together? It may not be a tune, but a moment in time. Do you still have a place in your heart with that someone, whether both of you are still able to be together or not.

Perhaps Phil Collins surmised it all when he belted out these lyrics, from the track duly called "Do You Remember"?

"There are things we won't recall
Feelings we'll never find
It's taken so long to see it
Cos we never seemed to have the time."

Spring in Sydney City

The Kinokinuya bookshop in Sydney CBD's Galleries Victoria is always a pleasure to visit. This time around, on the cusp of spring, there were significant discounts offered. In the age of electronic and online reading, the ambiance of this sizable retail outlet harks back to traditional scenes - people huddled over the magic of print on paper, eyes scanning an organised bookshelf and book covers shouting out for attention - pick me, choose me. The variety of books in this store perhaps epitomises the meeting of both so-called Western and Eastern cultures.

Dymocks at Broadway shopping centre (south of Sydney CBD) is smaller but nevertheless, invites one to a lazy afternoon of imagination, refuge and chilling out. I love the cushioned seats beside windows and its cafe, but am especially taken by the welcome foyer - how it arranges its displays is an achievement of psychology, marketing appeal and building up the passion of its customers in the world of publications and electronic media. Everything has been precisely arranged to catch the eye and heart.

I was delighted to discover the Brooksfield boutique in the recesses of the World Square shopping precinct. Peter, the sole staff member taking care of this unique experience, was very knowledgeable in chatting about the materials, sizes and unique perspectives of the shirts, trousers and other wardrobe items on display. I was reminded of a choice between slim fits and full form fits. The store has been fitted out to provide a pleasant walk around.


I did not know what to expect about a selection of performance extracts staged live by the
Russian Imperial Ballet at the State Theatre in Market Street. I need not have worried. The enactment to the accompaniment of the theme from Bolero was most enchanting. The festive and humorous air of Don Quixote was infectious and lightened the hearts of the audience. The finale with the can can underlined the fact that ballet is meant to entertain and reach out to the masses, and not necessarily an elite preoccupation.

The lead dancers, male and female, changed my perceptions; gently built up my sense of thrill at hard earned dance steps and postures; and made me realise how classical can be transformed to innovative. The elite of the Russian community were perhaps present for this Saturday night's performance. One of the leads, a tall and slim blonde-haired dancer, was hanging around the audio-visual control box area during the second intermission. My group of four were all satisfied with the high standards offered by this performance.


In the rush hour street side before sunset, near the Broadway shopping centre, I came across three puppies in a baby pram, pushed by a slightly embarrassed guy. Earlier, there were two groups of prancing lions parading past shops in Chinatown, accompanied by the all expected din of banging cymbals and fanfare. The Lunar eighth moon had commenced in the East Asian calendar, and this coincided with the arrival of the Australian spring. Beside the cinema complex along the main thoroughfare of George Street, and leading into the Spanish quarter, an unassuming lane revealed a delightful mural of images from the past century, detailing the balls and functions held by the Chinese-Australian community during the second century of this nation. Most interesting were references to volunteering by this community to the war effort during the 1940s.

Chatime at George Street near Broadway offered this passion fruit flavoured tea. It was thirst quenching after a whole day of literally criss-crossing the streets of Sydney City centre. I was surprised by the lack of custom at this outlet at this evening hour. The LCD screens offered had Mandarin language music videos as if you were in downtown Taipei or Nanjing.

I stood a road away from the construction site for the emerging Sydney Central Park, a massive residential development coming up from the grounds of a discontinued abattoir and brewery. Men in hard hats and bright coloured vests were walking around the place, soon to house hundreds of residents in cubicle units rising over the skyline of the southern end of the CBD. This development by Frasers of Singapore is in an ideal location, the epicentre of the lifestyle for city dwellers. It is ten minutes by car each to Newtown, Glebe, the campuses of UTS and Sydney University, Chinatown, Broadway shopping, Darling Harbour and Surry Hills.

As expected, I could not resist the offer to drop by two food outlets - Malacca Straits, where I tried the nasi lemak with Malaysian styled chicken curry and ice kacang, and then Spice I Am, where the homok and tom yum kung stood out well but the egg noodles were not al dente.

The Making of Fujian Har Mee Yoke

Hokkien mee, or har mee or mee yoke, all refer to a much beloved dish that depends so much on the inherent quality of a great stock soup (image below). The prawns or shrimps (har) must be fresh, have a zesty bite to the taste and are used, not just as an ingredient in the finished product to serve, but also in contributing to the nuances of the soup. The mee refers to the noodles of your choice (above image) but they do affect the overall experience (for example, slurpiness like in eating ramen, or a different texture, as in pasta). The yoke are the thinly cut slices of pork rib meat, with some layer of fat, essential to the aroma and wholesomeness of this dish.

A favourite of southern Chinese street food, and also in South-east Asia, is the use of deep fried shallots or cut onion rings (below) to accompany the har mee yoke. All images here were taken at the kitchen of Susan and Boo Ann Yap in Carlingford, Sydney, in a joint cooking session with one of my cousins, Mu Lan.

The quality, intensity and texture of the chili paste (picture below) results from carefully selecting the type of chilies, plus the addition of garlic and shallots to taste.

Suggested Recipe, from RasaMalaysia:

Soup Stock ingredients:
1 ziplock bag of shrimp heads and shells (I used Ziplock Easy Zipper Bag)

15 cups of water (reduced to about 12-13 cups of water after hours of boiling and simmering)

2-3 pieces of rock sugar (about the size of a small ping pong ball) or to taste

1.5 lbs of pork ribs (cut into pieces)

Salt to taste

Chili Paste:
30 dried chilies (de-seeded and soaked to soften)

10 shallots (peeled)

5 cloves garlic (peeled)

2 tablespoons of water

Other Ingredients Required:

6 tablespoons of cooking oil
1 pound of yellow noodles or mee (scalded)

1 pack of rice vermicelli (scalded)

Some kangkong or water convolvulus (scalded)

Some bean sprouts (scalded)

Toppings:
1/2 pound of lean pork meat (boiled and sliced thinly)

1/2 pound shrimp or prawns (shelled and de-veined)

6 hard-boiled eggs (shelled and quartered)

Some fried shallot crisps

Method and Approach:

Blend the chili paste ingredients with a mini food processor until they are finely ground and well blended.

Heat up the wok and add cooking oil.

Stir fry the chili paste for 5 minutes. Dish up and set aside.

On the same wok (unwashed), add in a little oil and cook the shrimp topping. Add in a little chili paste, sugar, and salt. Pan-fried the shrimp until they are slightly burned. Dish up, let cool and sliced them into halves.

Add 15 cups of water into a pot and bring it to boil.

Add in all the shrimp or prawn heads and shell and simmer on low heat for about 2 hours or longer, until the stock becomes cloudy and tastes really prawny.

Strain the stock through sieve and transfer the stock into another pot. Discard the prawn or shrimp heads and shells. Scoop up and discard the orange coloured “foam” forming at the top of the stock.

Bring the stock to boil again and add in half of the chili paste. You can add more chili paste if you like it spicier.

Add in the pork ribs and continue to boil in low heat for another 1-1.5 hour until the pork ribs are thoroughly cooked.

Add rock sugar and salt/fish sauce to taste.

To Serve:

To serve, place a portion of yellow noodles, rice vermicelli, water convolvulus and bean sprouts in a bowl. Ladle the hot stock over. If desired, add a few pieces of pork ribs. Top up with meat slices, sliced shrimp, hard boiled egg quarters - and sprinkle with shallot crisps.

Serve immediately with more chili paste to taste.

Cook’s notes:
Traditionally, the prawn or shrimp heads and shells are stir-fried with oil until aromatic before adding them into the boiling water.
The hawkers in Penang also blended the prawn or shrimp heads and shells after they are briefly boiled to extract all the flavors from the shell.

Tastes of Shanghai and Jogjakarta

"Dan dan noodles" I read, and that menu item caught my eye. I was initially wary of such noodles; in the past, my experience of them had been bland. Then I recalled that they can be freshly made, as an alternative to the packaged versions you find in Asian groceries all around the world. My group of six went for it. When the noodles arrived at our table in a piping hot bowl, the noodles proved al dente and the accompanying soup, ala Shanghai, was chili hot enough to refresh ,but not overwhelmingly so.

We were in A Taste of Shanghai, which has outlets in both Eastwood and Chatswood, northern suburbs of the greater Sydney area. The Eastwood joint was a busy place that evening, but poor engagement with customers by its staff members, who were not very well trained in handling queues of waiting and hungry diners, did not help. Nevertheless the food made up for this initial teething matter. I was satisfied with the key dishes chosen -
twice cooked pork belly; man tou buns served with a relish; and the deep fried barramundi, done in sweet and sour gravy. The place was, as expected, noisy, but not reflective of mainstream Australian society, in that most diners were of Chinese origin.

South of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, Hui's Mum, Mu Lan, had just arrived at the domestic airport, from Melbourne. I could not resist taking the opportunity for the three of us to try out Ayam Goreng 99, located along Anzac Parade in Kingsford, about fifteen minutes drive from the airport. Run by Indonesian Chinese from Java, its signature dishes are both grilled and roasted chicken (wings, breasts, thighs and so forth). I singled out the satay to taste, but the skewers came served with a peanut butter concoction, and not with the lemon grass flavoured peanuty sauce available in Malaysia. Also disappointing were the ice durian and coconut juice flavoured drinks, a far cry from what is served at the joints along Liang Seah Street in the Bugis precinct of Singapore.

The belacan kangkong is recommended. The spinach was sweet and lightly stir fried, with the chili and dried shrimp condiment not overpowering. I was eyeing the bakmie, equivalent to the egg noodles of south China garnished with meat slices and aromatic ingredients. Instead we ordered the fried rice special (nasi goreng in Indonesian), which was thoroughly made with the right amount of wok heat, intense sauce and a topping of an egg omelette.

The Art of Apparently Doing Nothing

When I do not know what to do.
This is comparable to standing at a five ways road junction and trying to figure out how to best handle the situation. I allow myself time - and enjoy the leisure of seemingly not reacting. My sub-conscious loves such opportunities - and provide better solutions and outcomes later from such scenarios.

When I am in denial.
Call it information overload, or sorting the variables before I recognise the cause and impact of things. This syndrome is perhaps best illustrated by the classic scene from a movie that's almost 80 years old - Gone With The Wind, based on the Margaret Mitchell bestseller novel. The housekeeper, in shock at the reality of impending childbirth for her Ma'am, walks away in a non-chalant manner and whistles. This is her personal way of coping with shock - and denial.

When I do deserve a break from the mundane.
I recall Friday afternoons after school, when the tyranny of commitment, structure and need to achieve dissolves in demand and urgency, when I can enjoy teenage hood and can hang out with mates. Things are unplanned and yet enjoyable. So it does not mean that my mates and I are not doing anything, we just reckon we do not have to worry about it, but just follow our hearts and inklings to fill in the magical hours at the start of a weekend.

When I do not need to do anything.
Have you had such hallmark moments, when the stars, Earth, Sun and Moon seem to come in perfect alignment? You can also say mate, family, boss and return on investments. It may seem remarkable, or coincidental, but guess what - you have worked yourself to deserve such a significantly positive dimension. What a sweet spot!

When I ride the wave.
There are occasions to harness the wind, the current or the flow set by external factors and beyond your control. This can be getting into the gravy train when the price is low, when there is a so-called window 0f opportunity or when an incentive or exemption can be utilised to your advantage. Enjoy the ride, but have an exit strategy and approach, just in case the wave goes down and the lollies stop coming.

When my reputation does it for me.
Increasingly, society and business thrives on speculation, perception and the value of intangibles.
The media, governments, religious groups, entertainment events and pricing systems depends on reputation. So should the individual, but definitely in a positive way, to bring more energy nurturing people, optimal thinking and personal growth your way.

When I download from cyberspace.
After one click, I can go to sleep and everything I expect is ready to roll the next morning.

When I procrastinate.
This can be a sub-set of denial, or not knowing what to do next. This can be after having a set of plans and then not making a decision. This can be after making an effective decision and then facing implementation roadblocks. This can result from being distracted and not focusing on the present. This can simply be a personal habit. Procrastination can have varying consequences - putting the matter on the proverbial shelf forever; re-visiting it later, with a better mindset; or just not achieving anything - or simply nothing.