THE YEAR THAT DID NOT BREAK MY HEART

Today I dropped by to see a person who always smiled instinctively upon seeing me.  Behind both our facemasks, there is yet no barrier, as our hearts

can willingly read each other’s.   We did not have to see each other often, but when we do, we left each other with an inner glow in each of us.  Behind the easy conversation was an affirmation of the friendship, through times hard, easy and neutral. 

 

You instinctively know when there is an instant connection with some individuals we are fortunate enough to come across, in this journey of life.   This connection cannot be whittled, despite we being significantly barred from travel for no fault of our own. 

 

The year past – 2020 to be precise – had seen our individual and community lives thrown around raggedly at times by external forces, some unwittingly, others manipulative and overall layered with a necessary or unnecessary uncertainty, imbued with their true colours in all hues of impact.

 

There were times of incompetent political leadership, which had innocent people unnecessarily pay with their lives, frustration and disruption experienced. It has opened our eyes to being caught in a system of being dependent on the vagaries of big government in the important aspects of our individual lives.   We have witnessed how the irresponsible behavior of a few can cause pervasive inconvenience to the majority.   We have seen how important issues can be side stepped, biased exemptions given in requirements, lessons not learnt and how mistakes committed are blindsided as if they did not exist.     We have seen how inaction, by our so called democratically elected leaders, to prevent has caused the proverbial horse to already bolt, followed by a desperate circus of rushed reaction in society.

 

The silver lining in all this is that such a situation has truly opened our eyes, our hearts and our determination.   A worldwide crisis has given us this opportunity, not only with national, state and city affairs, but also in our personal interactions with others.

 

I have observed how individuals – including me – cope in different ways.  I have had to whittle expectations taken for granted.  I have had to change my daily regime. I happily reaffirmed how fresh air, exercise outdoors and enjoying what Nature readily gives us.   I realized sufficiently to remove layers of commercialism weaved upon me by the contemporary world before Covid-19 arrived. 

 

Still, I realized how small my village is – and then at the same time, how varied and larger its delightful offerings can be.  With a borrowed feisty and good natured five year old Cavoodle, Tia, my senses were heightened when we went for our walks or runs.   Flora and fauna thrived when the human kingdom was put under all sorts of restrictions.  Most passerby strangers did respond positively when I took the initiative to say Hello first, as before Covid.

 

The flow of fresh air through our bodily functions was felt with gratitude, especially when 2020 came with heavily polluted skies and tragic bushfires in my part of Earth.   I have had to endure four waves of Covid clusters of varying intensity in the past year. Many others had to put up with much more than I did.  I first put on weight – and then got wiser by utilizing food consumption as manna and - and all the previous years of eating out has come in useful to build up my craft in using ingredients, flavours and texture in a more purposeful way. 

 

I learnt the joy of de-cluttering physical possessions I have not used or need.  The absence of physical contact, with people I truly care about, meant using more contactless ways in cyberspace.  Lockdown and mobility restrictions, imposed by the powers that be, were surpassed by so much more freedom connecting through the invisible forces in the air.  I miss air travel, as my country has locked down getting out of national and state borders on a varying basis since late March 2020.  I have had to imagine my flight is in my home lounge, with click on entertainment from streaming, box like meals and having a bit of perceived luxury while being confined to home at various times of the year.

 

On a not so bright side, as life can be, there are individuals, with whom I have built up friendships, drop me like a bomb or do not return my calls when perhaps they find me no longer useful to their selfish world.   This strongly reminded me of a particular group of people I know, who valued their pre-Christmas drinks at some Collegians Club two years ago, more than their friendship with me – which I have learnt from the hard way.  There are bogans in my region who have lashed out verbally at me for no reason in public places – and I have decided not to go to their level.   There is joy when not reacting to people who obviously do not care about me, especially in a Covid year.   More engaging to me are individuals who take time and effort to enjoy mutual relationships when it was a year which has tried to break something in each of us.

 

So in the year that not break my heart, I want to say my appreciation to special individuals, whether they are blood relatives or not, who have given me that special magic, when I did need it, in their own special way.  You know who you are.   I tend to over analyse and chatter, but in this respect, I do bask in your gift to me.

 

The year that is past can at times make us feel we are deserted on a remote island. The spark from true and deserving friendships has subdued what the effects of Covid and poor Covid management in our society have threatened to do.   Thank you to each of you who built my resilience, gave me joy at unexpected moments and made me realise we have our personal integrity and purpose to face whatever Covid can throw at us.

yongkevthoughts