A Kind of Hush

I had thought it had been a kind of rush for the whole day....and night. Such feelings were however mixed with doses of satisfaction and inner contentment, more of a kind of food for the soul.

It commenced with just food, partaking of vegetarian wraps with the Hindu worshippers on a mid-Sunday morning. The meal may have been simple, but the communal communion was sweet and embracing. Two little Indian boys sitting at a nearby canteen table were engaged in a banter of conversation in all innocence as childhood can bestow. The nearby temple was full of people engaged in ceremonies for an important holy day. Having grown up comfortable with this culture, to me, it was also food for the soul, even just as an observer. One of my fellow visitors, Phylis, remarked that it reminded her of elements of Jewish prayer. It struck me there and then that the world' religions can be somehow related, and that there is this invisible but strong bond of a string that connects to all things holy. The worshippers were decked in their Sunday best, holy smoke prevailed and there was the lilt of song in a sung prayer - we could have been attending the Papal Mass at Randwick Stadium in Sydney's eastern suburbs that very same morning.

The hush continued at a hilltop Buddhist temple complex which brilliantly shone under the blue sky and mid-winter Wollongong sun. The bare branches of deciduous trees and the flowering native succulents underlined the essence of Buddhist philosophy and thinking. A few of us wandered to a room dedicated to portraits in oil. The theme was perhaps womanhood. The expressiveness of the artists jumped out literally to me. A nearby pond, usually brimming with flowering lotus in early summer, had been mostly drained short of the muddy centre, which was now a playground for the resident ducks in winter.

Religion need not be organised. It can appear in the forms of Nature, and that late afternoon, I felt religion not in another man-made house of worship, but in the clean sweeping sand of Geroa, an hour by car south of Wollongong. The ocean side golf course links already put me in the mood. And then the seduction of an empty beach appeared and totally caught my heart and soul. It was windy but there were no surfing waves. Despite this, the vibes of the place appealed to my inner self and offered a calmness, just like in the Hindu or Buddhist temple earlier.

To wind up this special day, I found myself in the company of good friends a hundred kilometres from my Wollongong home, in a beloved recreation of Austria. We could not resist having our fav dishes of duck, snapper and pork, in a bush setting restaurant manned by true blue Austrians. Then we whizzed past the Sydney Bahai Temple by night, a circular structure with a light at the top. We had to return to the Austrian-German restaurant to retrieve a handbag forgotten in the midst of relaxed laughter and social enjoyment, but one of the staff members, brown-haired and blue-eyed Mario, was already waiting for us to return it.

So as it had been throughout this special Sunday in mid-July, the special kind of hush continued under the moonlight as I drove back to Wollongong late at night.

Calming and Magical

For just a rare hour and a half, I was engrossed in a captivating conversation with someone I felt so comfortable with. Someone I can trust, relax with and respect. And open my heart to.

You don't ask for it. There are no expectations. Then it all fallls into place - the vibes, the flow and the synergy. It is so reinvigorating. My conversational companion takes the lead by talking about something exciting to make me change dimensions and to embrace a more nurturing dimension. I let go of my imposed inhibitions and my caution learnt the hard way in some unfriendly places, now seemingly so far away. I can feel my whole self liberated like cold water doused on a hot day, or letting my senses glow in the warmth of enjoying the company of someone I instinctively feel so calm with. I cross the threshold into the dimension of what I know is happiness - so difficult to define but I am so sure I am in.

I enthusiastically follow the lead offered to me. I offer mine back and we then exchange flows of encouragement, tinged with humour and ease. We lavish our opened souls with the temptation of food and drink. My gratefulness swells inside asking myself how fortunate I am to know this person and be able to expwerience these magical snippets of talk and interchange of ideas. Each of us then get bold - we ask each other questions, and I know in my heart, these are questions from me that I have longed to share with someone like this. I expect confrontation and challenges to my sense of things, and I get them, not in a negative way at all, but in a way I should be provoked for my own good. I accept the need for me to change and to review. I am so glad I got it from this person in front of me, who looks at me, my inner self and my dreams through sunshades but through which I can see the eyes and the eye of the heart. Oh yes, it was a sunny day with blue skies, even in the so-called winter of my neighbourhood. I realised how lucky his lady partner is.

It is so unreal, this experience but I know it is real. I ask for opinions, I make my observations, I share things that I have not told anybody else. A calm and open heart leads to a similar mind - and then the state of contention which I recognise as a hallmark moment. Each of us do not want to leave this optimal moment. I want to get further insights and I want to offer more of my thoughts. We have to leave, but there is no regret - I have been sustained to last more than what I deserve, and I thought my lunch mate has also enjoyed it. I secretly hope that what has been given to me in this electrifying encounter has also been returned back to my giver. I don't say it, but my straight talking companion said it - it was great having this opportuntiy to talk about things that should be thought about, but which we hardly have a chance to. I just said I find it so good about the insights I had obtained, but I know it was much more than insights. It was simply magic.

The Wind

Slight branches with leafy brushes were strewn almost everywhere on both sides of the road. There was a sense of pandemonium and yet at the same time, a feeling of cleansing. The howl of the gushing air overhead underlined the dynamics of whatever caused the swirling and twirling of atmospheric forces. Things that stood in the way were showered with debris, or were buried by fallen things. Both Nature's creations and human artifacts were affected, if they had not not been secured properly.

I was up on a mountain road, eagerly dashing to hope to see someone. At times it may have seemed futile, for the winds from the heavens roared, as if to tease me and make it difficult. Overhead, the skies moved at frightening speed, with dark clouds changing their positions in a furious and obvious agitated dimension.It was an impeding storm, but up on the twists and turns of sloping roads, I could see the potential havoc thrown at the plains below. I had to see someone, whether or not it was sane or reasonable. Something in me had this relentless grip and spell that was only broken by knowing where this someone was that Sunday morning.

It was not exactly riding a wild horse bareback and galloping away to the object of my affection. Maybe it was better and faster, with a good performing engine of the car I was driving. The gush of wind reflected the climax of longing and passion that was teased and tested. The winds whipped up from the open ocean below was a mixture of uncertainty, the lure of feelings fulfilled and the hope of satisfaction. This potent combination decided that I had to do something.

I found the house. It was all closed up but not empty. Despite the wind, I had arrived. Maybe because of the wind, I had found myself so near. The wind in my heart was equally volatile. Nor rain or hail, nor wind or other obstacle, placed before me, I had made it to the inner sanctum of the one I sought.