I got thinking of mateship, after reading the related musings of a friend on her blog. Living away from networks I grew up with, residing in a special region of the country I adopted with differences and various nuances and being of a cultural background not seen as mainstream, I did and do face some challenges and opportunities. Whatever the scenario, I am here to stay and enjoy these unique perspectives.
After graduation, I worked in a close-knit environment of a family-owned bank. My colleagues and I saw the blurring of job and personal relationships after work. We congregated around individuals and random groups each of us found ourselves to be comfortable with. Extra-curricular activities were organised and encouraged around sports, food, outdoor and indoor activities.There was no need to have formally appointed mentors, employer-paid support groups and talk about what should be done in career and personal development - we just did it, relentlessly, subconsciously and with gusto. We got to know families of people who started out as working colleagues, but who gradually turned out to be friends in all senses of the word - mates whom we could call late at night to get an opinion, people with whom we could go camping and whose children came to know us as more than just from the office. The synergy we got from our outside encounters positively returned to the workplace to add to productivity, efficiency and better resolution of employee problems.
In another world now, I find myself with some people who vehemently compartmentalise whom they associate with. I can speculate on the various sociological and historical reasons why it is so, but in the end, the result can be impersonal, unmotivating and isolating. Social drivers that can so easily be utilised to embed team spirit, avoid unnecessary diversions and achieve business/career targets, with minimal roadblocks and pain, are ignored. Many I know end up not believing in the surface value of what some say or do and just give their minimum effort. At the worst, I have come across back stabbings, unfounded accusations, peculiar personal behaviour that reinforces petty selfishness and an uncanny negative focus on the now and not the future.
The happy medium that I thrive in is between these two contrasting experiences. In mateship, I believe in knowing how far to reach out and when to withdraw. The best friends are those I can drop by anytime with both good and not-so-good matters on hand, or just to sit side by side in silence. The best mates are those who accept us as what we are and yet provide quiet inspiration for us to want to better take care of ourselves. A true mate does not forget us once they move on to other stages of their lives. Reliable friends tell us as it is and keep in touch no matter what the phyiscal or psychological distance. To me, mateship is wanting to be connected, even if we do not have to.
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Sunday, 7 June 2009
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Some Days Are Diamonds
Shadows continually cast by some dissipate in the timely light beamed by unexpected special hearts of friendship; such is the wonder of the human experience, and the fortune to know such happiness.
Joseph and I were waiting for our claypot dishes on a pavement table outside a small
eatery in Eastwood in north-west of the greater Sydney area. At a neighbouring table, the teapot was sliding down on what was obviously an uneven bricked floor. The distinguished looking lady at that table was undecided on what to have for this Saturday lunchtime and was discussing the board menu with her nephew.
I could not help intrejecting to them that the menu they were planning for was only valid between 2 and 5pm. It was 1230pm. We next introduced ourselves; Paik Ling was the Principal of a well known girls school before she retired and with her nephew, Michael, they had come for an easy outdoor al fresco eat out on a sunny May day in a suburb not far from theirs. Both of them were interesting to chat with, and it was good to see an aunt being taken out for a meal. All four of us ahd to be patient before our dishes came - what I ordered had rice that was too hard but the other dish was tasty.
Whilst partaking my food, I saw through a glass partition of the eatery and realised that another lady was waving to me from inside. She then came out to greet me - lo and behold, it was Louisa, from way back when, at least 20 years ago when we last met. What wonderful hallmark moments I had - it was just by chance that Joseph and I picked the eatery for a meal.
On an autumn Mothers Day, Ee-lane and Ray had prepared a sumptious Thai home cooked dinner in Parramatta. The spicy and tasty spread provided much needed warmth inside once we had sampled through the several offerings. This ranged from minced pork salad to a fish marinated with the subtlelities of Thai flavours. We sat at a long table in a much loved house with a heritage front in a town that was founded not long after the first British settlement at the Rocks in Sydney.
One Saturday, after dropping by at a house for sale in the hills above Austinmer, I followed Shane and Danielle with their family to Thirroul Beach. Both the sky and ocean had hues of blue, different but complementary. There was a local surf carnival for under 18s going on on the clean powdery sand beach, but the Thirroul pool had been drained completely for the arrival of winter. The girls, Bridget and Nieve, took to the seagulls, ice blocks and outdoors naturally and eagerly. The bit of ocean wind did not affect the most amicable temperature. For a while, I was reminded that this is life as it should be spent, as for waht we work hard for.
I had not dropped by Marta's house for six months, short of the one attempt when she was away in Sydney that morning. So I thought I better visit her. I brought along a small serving of teatime cakes and Marta made tea and coffee to warm up our chat around her dining table. I could see her neighbour's washing alternately getting wet and dried by the chnaging weather and periodically passing showers. The expanse of Lake Illawarra could be viewed behind me, but we both enjoyed this catch-up conversation so much it did not bother us where we were. Marta and I had kept communicating by phone or email, but nothing is as good as talking in person.
On these recent cool mornings when my neighbourhood moves into winter mode,nothing makes it more easy to jump out of bed and get going, than the prospect of seeing Nathan and Scott at my routine coffee pick up on working days. More than the hot beverages they offer, it's the welcoming and bositerous manner in which they greet me, not so much as a customer, but as a friend. They wake up earlier than me, in the pre-dawn darkness, to make sure they are there when I arrive - and their absolutely inspiring attitude and demeanour makes me think - each of them deserves an opportunity to pursue and realise their personal dreams and passion for their exciting life-long adventure ahead, no matter what it is in their hearts right now.
My cousin Susan and her husband Boo Ann had made lovingly wrapped rice dumplings for the recent Dragon Boat Festival and gave me some. I sit at my dining table admiring the wraps, reminding me of their iconic cultural and philosophical significance. Some days are indeed diamonds!
Joseph and I were waiting for our claypot dishes on a pavement table outside a small
eatery in Eastwood in north-west of the greater Sydney area. At a neighbouring table, the teapot was sliding down on what was obviously an uneven bricked floor. The distinguished looking lady at that table was undecided on what to have for this Saturday lunchtime and was discussing the board menu with her nephew.
I could not help intrejecting to them that the menu they were planning for was only valid between 2 and 5pm. It was 1230pm. We next introduced ourselves; Paik Ling was the Principal of a well known girls school before she retired and with her nephew, Michael, they had come for an easy outdoor al fresco eat out on a sunny May day in a suburb not far from theirs. Both of them were interesting to chat with, and it was good to see an aunt being taken out for a meal. All four of us ahd to be patient before our dishes came - what I ordered had rice that was too hard but the other dish was tasty.
Whilst partaking my food, I saw through a glass partition of the eatery and realised that another lady was waving to me from inside. She then came out to greet me - lo and behold, it was Louisa, from way back when, at least 20 years ago when we last met. What wonderful hallmark moments I had - it was just by chance that Joseph and I picked the eatery for a meal.
On an autumn Mothers Day, Ee-lane and Ray had prepared a sumptious Thai home cooked dinner in Parramatta. The spicy and tasty spread provided much needed warmth inside once we had sampled through the several offerings. This ranged from minced pork salad to a fish marinated with the subtlelities of Thai flavours. We sat at a long table in a much loved house with a heritage front in a town that was founded not long after the first British settlement at the Rocks in Sydney.
One Saturday, after dropping by at a house for sale in the hills above Austinmer, I followed Shane and Danielle with their family to Thirroul Beach. Both the sky and ocean had hues of blue, different but complementary. There was a local surf carnival for under 18s going on on the clean powdery sand beach, but the Thirroul pool had been drained completely for the arrival of winter. The girls, Bridget and Nieve, took to the seagulls, ice blocks and outdoors naturally and eagerly. The bit of ocean wind did not affect the most amicable temperature. For a while, I was reminded that this is life as it should be spent, as for waht we work hard for.
I had not dropped by Marta's house for six months, short of the one attempt when she was away in Sydney that morning. So I thought I better visit her. I brought along a small serving of teatime cakes and Marta made tea and coffee to warm up our chat around her dining table. I could see her neighbour's washing alternately getting wet and dried by the chnaging weather and periodically passing showers. The expanse of Lake Illawarra could be viewed behind me, but we both enjoyed this catch-up conversation so much it did not bother us where we were. Marta and I had kept communicating by phone or email, but nothing is as good as talking in person.
On these recent cool mornings when my neighbourhood moves into winter mode,nothing makes it more easy to jump out of bed and get going, than the prospect of seeing Nathan and Scott at my routine coffee pick up on working days. More than the hot beverages they offer, it's the welcoming and bositerous manner in which they greet me, not so much as a customer, but as a friend. They wake up earlier than me, in the pre-dawn darkness, to make sure they are there when I arrive - and their absolutely inspiring attitude and demeanour makes me think - each of them deserves an opportunity to pursue and realise their personal dreams and passion for their exciting life-long adventure ahead, no matter what it is in their hearts right now.
My cousin Susan and her husband Boo Ann had made lovingly wrapped rice dumplings for the recent Dragon Boat Festival and gave me some. I sit at my dining table admiring the wraps, reminding me of their iconic cultural and philosophical significance. Some days are indeed diamonds!
Saturday, 23 May 2009
Revitalising
I ordered the lamb focaccia at the Cacao Cafe. It was appetising, especially on a cool autumn day with swirling wind, changing overcast and blue sky and with rain ever threatening to arrive. After driving from Rockdale to Newport, we were definitely hungry for a late lunch. The beach side resort was more quiet than I recalled, but then the last time I was there was on a summer's day. Now the cafes stood lonely and reminded me of a small village in New Zealand. I was tempted with the ice cream counter but decided against it. Sean and I went to feast our eyes on the open ocean, where the foam of white had cuddled like milk and were gradually building up surf board waves. I always like the misty shower hanging in the air at Newport Beach and it was there again, magical and fascinating. What a dessert!
We were aiming for the Kilimanjaro, not in Africa but in Sydney's Newtown. We were fortunate to find a parking space. I noticed that the Fitness First gym was next to the Food Works supermarket - how convenient. I rediscovered an elegant stationery and book shop that starts with the alphabet P. I definitely reaffirm that Burgerfuel has a more inviting set up than Burgerlicious. I remember my first exciting foray into Burgerlicious with Michael a few years back. Amazingly I can also confirm that the Newtown outlet of Burgerfuel looks exactly like the store in Parnell, Auckland. To kill time, we hung around the Dendy Cinema and had drinks - I chose Cinique's blackberry and blueberry smoothie. It was too early to get into the pub, but I thought Culato's was great. Did I get that spelling right, maybe not.
When we reached Kilimanjaro, we decided to go for simplicity. I yearned for cous cous, so choosing the lamb curry and cous cous was not a problem. Lamb again, you may ask. Hey, I am in Australia. Sean preferred a chicken casserole that had tomato flavours. We downed the meal with a rose petal flavoured drink. I really thought we were having Indian food, and I know there are Indians in Kenya. Idi Amin sacking the Indian population many years ago to Britain comes to mind. The ethnic Indian staff waiting on us wore African robes though. Then came a real tall African, looking all smooth glowing in skin and with a smiling face. To order, there were no printed menus and intending diners had to crowd around a dimly lit menu board on the wall. Apparently one could not book in advance, but just had to come at the right time to get a table immediately. Like we did.
We were aiming for the Kilimanjaro, not in Africa but in Sydney's Newtown. We were fortunate to find a parking space. I noticed that the Fitness First gym was next to the Food Works supermarket - how convenient. I rediscovered an elegant stationery and book shop that starts with the alphabet P. I definitely reaffirm that Burgerfuel has a more inviting set up than Burgerlicious. I remember my first exciting foray into Burgerlicious with Michael a few years back. Amazingly I can also confirm that the Newtown outlet of Burgerfuel looks exactly like the store in Parnell, Auckland. To kill time, we hung around the Dendy Cinema and had drinks - I chose Cinique's blackberry and blueberry smoothie. It was too early to get into the pub, but I thought Culato's was great. Did I get that spelling right, maybe not.
When we reached Kilimanjaro, we decided to go for simplicity. I yearned for cous cous, so choosing the lamb curry and cous cous was not a problem. Lamb again, you may ask. Hey, I am in Australia. Sean preferred a chicken casserole that had tomato flavours. We downed the meal with a rose petal flavoured drink. I really thought we were having Indian food, and I know there are Indians in Kenya. Idi Amin sacking the Indian population many years ago to Britain comes to mind. The ethnic Indian staff waiting on us wore African robes though. Then came a real tall African, looking all smooth glowing in skin and with a smiling face. To order, there were no printed menus and intending diners had to crowd around a dimly lit menu board on the wall. Apparently one could not book in advance, but just had to come at the right time to get a table immediately. Like we did.
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